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Dr. Robert Saltzman, Ph.D.

 

 "ask dr-robert,"  began as a simple online brochure for Robert's psychotherapy practice but evolved into the world's most frequently consulted ask the psychologist page, active from 1997 through 2011. These are some of the archived questions and answers:

 


  • How Does An Awakened Person See The World, and How Can I Jump From Here To There?

  • The Entire Spiritual Dilemma Boils Down To One Problem: Denial.

  • What Is an Awakened State? What Is Non-Duality? How Can I Realize Freedom?

  • How Can I Get Rid Of Religious Guilt?

  • Am I a Psychopath?

  • Can a Two-Year-Old Be Sadistic?

  • I Am Suffering From OCD and Severe Anxiety Despite Therapy and Medication. Please Help!

  • Sexual Repulsion: Since Our Child Was Born, My Partner Refuses To Have Sex With Me.

  • A Co-worker Plays His Radio All Day. I Find This Terribly Annoying, and He Refuses To Stop.

  • I Am a Young Girl Of Sixteen, and a Much Older Man Has Asked Me To Be His Girlfriend. What Should I Do?

  • Problems With My Boyfriend's Ex-Wife.

  • My Daughter, a High-Functioning Autistic Person Demands Total Privacy and Isolation. What Can I Do?

  • My Mom Is Depressed and Focused Only On Negative Things, and I Have Begun To Resent Her.

  • When I See a Young Girl In Makeup, I Feel Fear and Disgust. Do I Have a Problem?

  • I Was Sexually Abused By My Gynecologist.

  • I Am Unhappy With My Life. I Don't Know What Is Wrong With Me. I Am Afraid I Will End Up Dying An Unsuccessful Loser.

  • I See People With Emotions As Inferior To Myself. Am I Sociopathic?

  • My Old Therapist Gave His Notes About My Therapy To My New Therapist, But I Have Not Seen the Notes. Do I Have a Right To See Them?

  • What Should I Say To My Psychiatrist At The End Of a Session?

  • My Father Masturbated Frequently In My Presence When I Was a Child. Is It Necessary To Forgive In Order To Find Peace?

  • I'm a Pedophile. Do You Think Sexuality Can Be Changed?

  • Can Someone Become a Psychopath After Having Been a Loving Child?

  • They Say That When You Are Ready a Spiritual Teacher Will Come. Is This True?

  • You Seem To Be An Enlightened Person. Please Tell Me How To Attain Enlightenment.

  • Please Help. I Am Cursed With a Dominating Mother-In-Law, and My Husband Obeys Her Like a Child.

  • I Hide Everything From Myself and Others. How Can I Get In Touch With My Feelings?

  • Help! I Am Depressed, May Have Borderline Personality Disorder, and Fear That I Was Sexually Abused By My Father.

  • My Mom Is Horribly Depressed. How Can I Help Her?

  • I Think Often Of Strangling My Mother and The Killing Myself. Is There Anything I Can Do? Should I Be Worried?

  • I Masturbate To Extremely Violent Fantasies. Am I a Sadist?

  • My Long-Time Boyfriend Cheats Constantly, And He Always Has. Do You Think He Can Ever Change?

  • I Believe I Was Repeatedly Molested By My Father. What Do I Do Now?

  • I'm Having Weird Thoughts About Killing My Mother or Myself.

  • Is Psychology an Art Or a Science?

  • My Husband Is a Hypocrite. He Claims To Be a Christian, But Masturbates Every Day To Pornography, Then Claims He Is Too Busy For Sex With Me.

  • I Am a Young Muslim. I Found Out That My Girlfriend Is Not Pure. Now I Want To Kill Myself.

  • I Got Falling Down Drunk and Then Fought With My Girlfriend. The Next Day I Remembered Nothing That Happened, and This Is Not the First Time.

  • My Brother's Girlfriend, the Mother Of His Child, Is Destroying Our Family.

  • Please Suggest My Next Step In Therapy.

  • Confessions About Love, Relationships, Guilt, and the World From a Young Sociopath.

  • I Am Fourteen Years Old. I Feel Nothing For Others. I Am Attracted To Pain, Suffering, and Torture, Yet I Want To Avoid Hurting Others. How Can I Change?

  • Confessions About Love, Relationships, Guilt, and the World From a Young Sociopath.

  • Remembering a Childhood Sexual Incident Fills Me With Intense Guilt and Self-loathing.

  • I Was Used and Abused By a Lover, and Now Fantasize About Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence.

  • I Am Afraid That I Am Going Insane.

  • I Feel Nervous in Public Areas, and Feel, Unreasonably I Know, That I Am Always a Center of Attention.

  • I Was Victimized By a Psychopathic Lover. I Left Him Years Ago, But I Cannot Get Him Out Of My Mind.

  • I Am Obsessed With My Therapist and Feel Totally Alienated By the Analytic Distance He Maintains.

  • I Worry About My Daughter Whose Father Seems To Be a Sociopath.

  • Can You Identify a Psychopath By the So-called, "Soulless, Psychopathic Stare?

  • I Have Met My Soul Mate, But He is Married. What Shall I Do?

  • Is My Friend a Pedophile?

  • Can a Psychopath Ever Learn to Change?

  • Can a Psychopath Be Taught Values and Morals?

  • Am I a Sociopath (Psychopath)? Will People Think I Am a Monster? Do You Find Me Awful?

  • My Father Beat a Dog To Death and Now Claims His Brutality Had No Bad Effect On Me As a Five-Year-Old Child.

  • Another Depression Question.

  • I Carry a Heavy Burden. I Fear That I Am a Pedophile.

  • I'm Afraid That I Am Bisexual, and Have No One To Tell.

  • How Do Psychotherapists Deal With Their Own Problems?

  • What Is A Good Occupation For a Psychopath?

  • I Live In a Foreign Country and Have Become Depressed. Would Therapy in My Second Language Work For Me?

  • My Christian Parents Refuse To Accept My Atheism.

  • How Can I Fall In Love With My Boyfriend?

  • I Have Been Sexually Abused By My Therapist, But I Am Blaming Myself For What Happened.

  • My Wife Was Sexually Abused, and Now Blames Everything She Doesn't Like On Others. Is This Normal?

  • I Have Fallen In Love With My Therapist, and This Is Not Transference.

  • I Fear I Am a Potential Serial Killer.

  • What Is The Difference Between a Sociopath (Psychopath) and a Person With the Dark Triad of Personality Traits?

  • My Father Molested My Three-Year-Old Daughter. Does That Mean That My Father Also Molested Me When I Was a Child?

  • Can a Psychopath Be Helped to Change? (Letters From Two Self-Described Psychopaths)

  • I Have a Crush On My New Therapist. Should I Tell Her?

  • How Do I Deal With Fear of Flying and Fear of Speed?

  • Is There An End To Suffering? (audio presentation).

  • I Am Trying To Control My New Girlfriend By Keeping Her All To Myself.

  • Regarding My Son Who Is Diagnosed With Schizophrenia and Thought Disorder.

  • I'm Tired Of Hearing That Watching Porn Is a Normal Guy Thing.

  • Am I Depressed? 

  • After Living Most Of My Life As a Dynamic, Energetic Person, I Now Feel Weak and Cannot Focus on Anything.

  • My Girlfriend Asked For Space, But I Could Not Let Her Alone. Is This Obsessional Behavior?

  • After Kicking My Drug Habit, I Became Suddenly Antisocial. Am I a Sociopath?

  • Obsessed and Guilty About Childhood Sexuality.

  • I Believe That I Am a Psychopath. Can You Explain To Me Why Other People Feel the Guilt and Sorrow Which I Never Feel?

  • I Have Never Had a Girlfriend. I Feel Abandoned By God. Is This Borderline Personality Disorder?.

  • My Mother Demands That I Lie About My Father's Having Molested Me.

  • How Should a Child Molester Feel Now?

  • I Am Guilty About My Foot Fetish and Especially My Childhood Experimentation With It.

  • Help! I Am a Young Teenager Becoming Addicted To Yiffy Pornography

  • My Need For Sex Is Not Matched By My Girlfriend and I Have Been Getting Sex Elsewhere.

  • My Uncle Repeatedly Molested Me, and Now He Wants Me To Sing a Song He Has Requested At My Grandmother's Wake.

  • I Believe I Am a Sociopath. I Have No Conscience. I Want To Be In Love. Is That Possible?

  • Is Childhood Sexuality Normal?

  • How Can I Find a Therapist Who Won't Belittle My Concerns?

  • How Is Childhood Sexual Experimentation Different From Incest? When Is Sexual Experimentation Abnormal?

  • Why Do Boys Stare At My Breasts?

  • My Mother Suffers From Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and Feels Totally Defined By Her Disease. How Can I Help?

  • I Believe I Could Be Psychopathic (Sociopathic).

  • Could Xanax Be Robbing Me Of My Emotions? (update)

  • I Am a Psychopathic Soldier. Is There Any Help For Me?

  • How Can I Deal With My Passive-Aggressive Personality Without Informing My Parents?

  • My Boyfriend Drinks Too Much, Cheats On Me, and Lies To Me. Am I Codependent?

  • I Am Afraid Of My Desires For Attachment to Another Man.

  • My Therapist Tells Me Everything About His Private Life, Including His Sex Life. Is This OK?

  • My Husband's Strange Jokes Worry Me.

  • I Got An Erection While Holding My New Baby and Now I Am Afraid That I Am a Pedophile.

  • My Therapist Is Leaving. Is It OK To Give Her a Gift?

  • Help! I Am Paralyzed By Sexual Guilt.

  • My Grandfather Molested Me Repeatedly, and Now, at Sixteen, I Am Depressed. My Mom Won't Help. What Do You Suggest?

  • Does Your Faith Have an Answer To Every Social and Economic Problem? Mine Does.

  • I Feel Misunderstood. Am I Misjudging My Therapist?

  • Is Psychology a Science?

  • My Boyfriend Is a Passive-Aggressive Womanizer Who Has Sex With Many Women, and Lies To Me About It. Could He Be Sociopathic (Psychopathic)?

  • I May Be Schizophrenic. Can I Live a Healthy Life Without Medication?

  • How Can I Expand Spiritual Awareness?

  • Help! I Am a Sadist. I Love to Hurt People and Cause Pain. I Have Bought a Knife and Plan to Murder My Mother.

  • I Seem To Have Married the Wrong Man. Now I Feel Hopeless.

  • I Am Having Hallucinations and Paranoid Delusions. The Doctor Gave Me Xanax, and the Minister Sprinkled Me With Holy Water, But Those Things Aren't Helping.

  • Help! My Mother Is Depressed and Emotionally Demanding and Insists That My Daughters Spend Excessive Amounts Of Time With Her.

  • I Love My Husband But I Am Not Attracted To Him, and I Fantasize About Other Men.

  • I Am Afraid That My New Husband Molested My Six-Year-Old Girl?

  • Can Some Mild Psychopaths Have a Conscience, Love Others, and Be Empathic?

  • Can a Woman With Borderline Personality Disorder Become Dangerously Violent?

  • How Do I Help My Son Who Has Formal Thought Disorder and Will Not Take His Medication?

  • I Am in Despair. I Hate My Life. I Find No Meaning in Anything.

  • I Am a Woman With the Libido of a Man.

  • I See No Positive Future. What Should I Do?

  • Was I Molested By My Own Sister? By My Mom?

  • Please Give Me Advice On How To Choose a Therapist.

  • My Friend Sees and Hears Jesus. Is He Delusional?

  • What Do We Tell Our Child About the Gay Couple Next Door?

  • What is the Difference Between Love and Infatuation? (part two)

  • How Do I Help My Son Who Is a Sociopath (Psychopath)?

  • Is It Possible To Have Both Unipolar and Bipolar Depression?

  • Help! I Am Lonely and Suicidal.

  • Was This a Hallucination? Could I Be Psychotic?

  • How Do I Help My Boyfriend Who Has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)?

  • Could Xanax Be Robbing Me Of My Emotions?

  • How Do You Handle a Bully?

  • I Have Been Cheating On My Husband. Should I Confess?

  • I Fear That I Am Homosexual and Think Of Suicide.

  • I Have a Church Problem.

  • I Have Lost Feelings For My Boyfriend. Could Prozac Be Responsible?

  • I Am Worried By My Mother's Strange Behavior.

  • I Am a Psychopath.

  • I Was Sexually Abused As a Child, and Know I Need Therapy, But I Am Afraid To Remember What Happened To Me.

  • How Can I Stop Favoring One Child Over Another?

  • Culture Clash: A Middle Eastern Girl in America Lying to Her Parents About Boyfriend and Sex.

  • My Boyfriend Seems Kind and Loving But Has A Terrible Temper.

  • I Made Love to My Dead Girlfriend. Is This Necrophilia?

  • Help! I Am a Special Forces Operative and Have Begun Cutting Myself.

  • I Am Masturbating and Having Sexual Thoughts About My Mother.

  • What Is The Answer, Doctor?

  • My Therapist Has Violated My Sense of Privacy

  • Please Help Me to Stop Masturbating!

  • My Therapist Tells Me All About His Life.

  • Does Zoloft Reduce Creativity?

  • Reply From the Jealous Girlfriend.

  • Should We Have a Baby to Save Our Marriage?

  • Help! I Don't Know How To Release the Pain.

  • Help Me! My Girlfriend Is Terribly Jealous of My Young Son.

  • Is It "Normal" to Wonder What People Look Like Naked?

  • I Just Found Out That My Good Friend Is a Pedophile.

  • My Son Is About to Marry, and I Am Sure He Is Making a Big Mistake.

  • In My Second Year of College, I Still Have an 8 o'clock Curfew.

  • I Invited My Best Friend For Three-Way Sex With Me and My Husband, and Now Feel Terrible.

  • I Am a Sociopath. Can I Ever Learn to Love?

  • Help! My Husband Is Totally Attached To His Mother.

  • My Father Is Sexually Attracted To Me.

  • My Girlfriend and I Are Struggling With Issues of Trust and Control.

  • Help! My Boyfriend Is Obsessed With Lack of Sex.

  • How Do I Get Over Someone Who Has Dumped Me?

  • My Best Friend Won't Return My Calls. Please Help.

  • What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

  • My Boyfriend Constantly Dreams of Leaving Me For Another Woman.

  • I Am In Love With My Gynecologist and Wondering Why He Does Not Respond.

  • How Do I Choose Between a Life of Service or Pursuing My Own Happiness?

  • Phobia: Why Am I Terrified By Butterflies?

  • I Feel That I Am Splitting My Emotions From My Actions.

  • I Can't Stop Thinking About Death.

  • Is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Normal?

  • I Am Afraid That I Am a Slave To My Boyfriend.

  • My Roommate Is a Total Pig.

  • I Feel Guilty For Rubbing My Penis On Another Child.

  • I Am Attracted To My Gynecologist.

  • Should I "Play It Cool" With My Boyfriend To Stop Him From Playing Jealousy Games With Me?

  • I Looked At A Child's Vagina, and Now I Am Disgusted With Myself.

  • I Constantly Find Myself Surrounded By Sin.

  • I Cannot Show Love For My Daughter and I Do Not Know Why.

  • My New Boyfriend Can't Maintain His Erection.

  • My Dad Is Disappointed In Me, and I Am Crying Myself To Sleep Over It.

  • How Can I Talk To My Neurotic Father?

  • Chronic Pain From Arthritis Is Changing My Personality.

  • I Feel Obligated to Give My Boyfriend Oral Sex.

  • My Ex-Boyfriend Is A Psychic Vampire.

  • Help! My Ex-Girlfriend Won't Speak To Me, and I Am Stalking Her.

  • My Girlfriend Has Lost All Interest In Sex.

  • How Can I Help My Catholic Boyfriend to Get Over His Guilt About Sex?

  • I Am Falsely Accused of Child Sexual Abuse, and My Daughter Has Been Taken From Me. What Now?

  • Don't You Realize That Without Faith Life Is Empty?

  • What Is Reality?

  • Help! I Am Suffering From Delusions and Hallucinations.

  • Why Is Sex With My Husband So Much Better After I Cheat On Him?

  • I Fear That I Am Being Stalked By a "Fatal Attraction" Type of Woman.

  • I Feel Like Jumping From a Rooftop. Please Help.

  • Is My Husband a Pornography Addict?

  • Do Older People In Long Term Care Need Consistency?

  • My Boyfriend Wants Three-Way Sex, and I Hate The Idea. What Now?

  • My Boyfriend Is An Alcoholic But Won't Admit It. What Do I Do Now?

  • Paxil No Longer Works for Me. What Next?

  • Letter From a Wounded Healer.

  • Attracted to Young, Beautiful Friend of the Family.

  • How Do I Deal With My Passive-Aggressive Husband?

  • I Have Good Days and Bad Days. How Do I Deal With These Mood Swings?

  • Help! I Am Guilty and Depressed.

  • My Husband Has Left Me. Can Marriage Counseling Help?

  • My Mother is Ill, and No Doctor Can Find Out Why.

  • Is Ketamine Helpful for Depression?

  • I Am Afraid That My Therapy Will End Up With My Feeling Broken-Hearted.

  • Are My Boyfriend's Fantasies About Sex With Other Women Normal?

  • What is the Difference Between Love and Infatuation?

  • How Can I Stop Tearing At My Own Skin?

  • I Am Being Home Schooled, Miss My Friends, and Think I May Be Depressed.

  • What Constitutes Abuse?

  • Could Zoloft Make Me Afraid of People?

  • Can Emotional Abuse Lead To Strange Sexual Practices?

  • Has My Therapist Violated Boundaries?

  • My Boyfriend Is a Pornography Addict.

  • I Am Suspicious Of My Doctor's Motives In Hugging Me.

  • I Am Guilty About Sex With a Dog.

  • Help. I Am Sexually Attracted To My Step-Daughter.

  • Drunk Step Father Fondles Step-Daughter.

  • Should I Forgive My Boyfriend Who Molested Twenty Years Ago?

  • I Cannot Climax With My Boyfriend. Was I Abused As a Child?

  • Is It OK For a Child to See Her Father Naked?

  • My Boyfriend Cannot Stand Conflict. What Should I Do?

  • What Are the Limits of Professional Confidentiality?

  • My Step-Son Shaves His Arms. Is There a Problem?

  • Help! I Am Being Beaten and Abused.

  • I'm Worried About a Man I Met Online.

  • Is Masturbation Harmful?

  • How Does a Therapist Deal With Suicidal Ideas?

  • Trouble With Born-Again Grandpa.

  • How Do I Get Off Medication for Anxiety?

  • How Can I Control My Girlfriend's Behavior?

  • Is This Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?

  • How Do I Leave My Depressed Boyfriend?

  • How Can We Help Our Introverted, Frightened Son?

  • How Do I Get Over a Lost Love?

  • What Makes a Good Therapist?

  • Help! My Husband Is Cruising Yahoo Personals.

  • Is This Substance Abuse?

  • Why Can't I Find Someone to Love?

  • I Am Afraid That My Boyfriend Is Bisexual.

  • How Can I Help My Son With Survivor Guilt?

  • Is My Penis Big Enough For Sex?

  • Help! I Am Frightened By My Own Mother.

  • I'm On the Verge of Insanity. Please Help Me Escape This Torture.

  • Help! My Young Son Is Experimenting With Sex.

  • How Do I Help My Socially Withdrawn Brother?

  • How Do I Deal With Being Painfully Shy?

  • Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.

  • Why Does My Girlfriend Dream About Sex?

  • Problems With My Father.

  • Need Help With High Cholesterol.

  • Why Can't I Stabilize In MY True Nature?

  • I Am Afraid That I Sexually Abused My Dog.

  • I Married For Culture, Not Love. Now What?

  • My Brother Demands Too Much Of My Attention.

  • My Son Molested My Daughter, and I Cannot Come To Terms With It.

  • I Fake Orgasm With My Boyfriend, and I Fantasize About Sex With Women. Could I Be Bisexual?

  • My Partner Is Infatuated With Her Doctor.

  • Help! I Am Utterly Obsessed With My Ex.

  • Afraid to Make Eye Contact. Afraid to Show My Facial Expressions. Please Help.

  • Is It Depression or Just Teenage Angst?

  • When Nervous I Cannot Stop Sweating.

  • How Can I Have a Healthy Relationship With a Man?

  • I Feel Compelled to Finish Any Task I Start.

  • Should I Pursue Psychotherapy for Sexual Abuse?

  • Is There a Way to Recover Blocked Memories?

  • How Can I Deal With Memories Of My Father Molesting Me?

  • How Do I Deal With Erotic Feelings Towards My Therapist?

  • Depressed and Avoiding Treatment?

  • How Do I Help My Anorectic Girlfriend?

  • Help: Our Son Is Wearing My Wife's Underwear

  • Should We Marry?

  • Passive-Aggressive Personality Is Destroying My Life.

  • Daughter Grieving Over Changing Schools.

  • Is My Daughter Codependent? Is She Boy Crazy?

  • Birth Order: What Is The Middle Child Syndrome?

  • Cutting Myself, Disgusted With My Sexuality. Please Help.

  • How Do I Get My Husband to Apologize When He Does Wrong?

  • How Do I Deal With My Passive-Aggressive Friend?

  • Why Do You Criticize Religion?

  • I Was Sexually Abused. Please Help!

  • Help! I Am On the Verge Of Suicide

  • How Do I Help My Delusional Grandmother?

  • How Do Get Over Feeling Guilty About My Suicide Attempt?

  • How Do I Convince My Girlfriend That Her Doctor Is No Good?

  • How Do I Deal With an Alcoholic Relative?

  • How Do I Get Over Being Dumped By My Boyfriend?

  • How Can I Teach My Girlfriend to Enjoy Gentle Sex?

  • How Can I Stop Being Embarrassed About Using Antidepressants?

  • Why Do I Find Comfort In My Bath Towel?

  • What Can I Do For My Delusional Friend?

  • I Am Bi-Polar and Believe That I Have Avoidant Personality As Well

  • My Girlfriend Is Suicidal and Is Hearing Voices

  • Help! I Am Terribly Shy

  • Help! I Am Obsessed With My Ex-Boyfriend

  • I Feel Guilty About Childhood Sex Play

  • Can Formal Thought Disorder Be Treated?

  • How Can I Deal With Chronic Illness?

  • How Can I Improve My Social Life?

  • How Do I Deal With Not Being Beautiful?

  • Why Do I Lose Interest In My Girlfriends?

  • What Do You Recommend For My Patient Who Was Abused As a Child?

  • Why Do I Have Conversations With Myself?

  • Why Do I Have Fantasies of Sexual and Non Sexual Abuse?

  • Why Do I Avoid All Social Contact?

  • What Is the Correct Way To Make Eye Contact?

  • Is My Husband an Adulterer?

  • Was I Molested As a Child?

  • What About Christian Marriage Counseling?

  • Is My Boyfriend Co-dependent?

  • Can You Suggest Recipes for Weight Loss and Good Mental, Physical, and Emotional Health?

  • How Do I Deal With Self-Injurious Behavior: I Am Cutting Myself?

  • Is My Sister Seriously Depressed?

  • Help! My Daughter Was Sexually Molested By My Boyfriend.

  • How Do I Deal With My Depressed Mother?

  • How Do We Know If Our Couples Counseling Is Working For Us?

  • What Is Spiritual Unfoldment?

  • Was I Abused As a Child?

  • I Am Afraid That My Penis Is Too Small.

  • What Are the Two Kinds of Meditation?

  • Am I Depressed?

  • Living In the Present

  • Please Suggest a Diet for Weight Loss

  • Proper Nutrition for Physical, Mental, and Emotional Steadiness and Stability

  • How Can I Forgive Sexual Abuse?
     
  • How Can I Awaken From Delusion Into Nonduality?

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    Nothing here is intended to provide clinical treatment for psychological problems. If you need help, seek treatment with a qualified professional.